According to CNN, Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson’s personal physician on the night of his death, is being sought by law enforcement, as the prosecutors in Los Angeles are preparing to file criminal charges against him.

It’s not that the good doctor is missing, exactly. According to his lawyer, he is eager to cooperate, much like he was immediately after Jackson was pronounced dead after a drug overdose, and Dr. Murray could not be reached. Once again, he is eager to help the police, but there’s just one little snag: Dr. Murray’s lawyer and the authorities are yet to reach an agreement on his surrender.

Yes, that’s right. We’re not kicking in doors trying to locate a manslaughter suspect. We’re talking with his lawyer about the terms under which the suspect is willing to turn himself in, so that he can cooperate with law enforcement, as he is so eager to do.

Can we do anything these days without it involving billable hours for some lawyer? If the police think this guy is guilty of manslaughter, and the prosecutor is seeking to indict him, then can’t the cops just, you know, go and find him? I’m pretty sure they used to do that.

Perhaps there’s a buff, greasy-haired bounty hunter with a video camera that we can let loose on this guy’s trail.

{ 0 comments }

Immediately following the recent injury of freshly elected Republican Senator Scott Brown, there has been some speculation that the Massachusetts Senator might not be sworn in this afternoon after all. However, according to a source at the House GOP leadership, such rumors and speculations are not only premature, but entirely baseless.

“We don’t expect Senator Brown’s ceremony this afternoon to be delayed. He will be sworn in at around 5 pm, and will thereafter be able to vote on any bills that may come before the Senate,” reported an aide on the condition of anonymity.

Senator Brown was injured late Tuesday night when one of the strings that RNC Chairman Michael Steele uses to control Brown’s movements broke off. The immediate concern among his Republican constituents was that their new Senator might not be able to properly vote in the Senate in line with the party’s expectations. Our insider, however, maintains that this is not going to happen. Said the aide: “Senator Brown is eager to do as told by the party. He is looking forward to taking off his shirt and getting to work.”

In other news, at the time of this writing there is no official word on whether Brown’s daughter Ayla is still single.

{ 0 comments }

I’ll Have Two Pounds of Whatever You Believe In

February 3, 2010

I was around 29 or so when I started taking my very first college classes. The college experience is pronouncedly different, I think, when you start it ten years later than most kids who are fresh out of high school.
One thing that I found particularly interesting and delightful about the campus were the many organizations [...]

Read the full article →

In Case It Is Not Obvious: They Do Not Want You There

January 30, 2010

I guess it’s time to send Bill Clinton to North Korea again.
Last year, Clinton traveled to Pyongyang to secure the release of two American journalists who had wandered onto North Korean territory. I’ve always regarded Clinton as a great diplomat, and that incident certainly reinforced that perception.
Two more Americans now appear to have crossed the [...]

Read the full article →

Vive La Resistance

January 28, 2010

Now that President Obama’s approval ratings are slipping, and the good people of Massachusetts have voted in their first Republican senator in almost forty years, it’s time to get real about politics in this country. It’s time to take leadership into our own hands.
Brother, I know what you are thinking: “how am I supposed to [...]

Read the full article →

Not Even Google Can Go To China

January 25, 2010

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s speech last week about China and free speech has not been warmly received by the Chinese government. According to Min Dahong, the Chairman of the Beijing Association of Online Media, Clinton’s insinuation that “China lacks freedom of information and speech is in fact disrespectful and doesn’t stand up.”
Meanwhile, China [...]

Read the full article →

22 Gallons Of Beer On The Wall, 22 Gallons Of Beer…

January 24, 2010

If you enjoy a cold beer, today is supposedly the day to knock one back, as canned beer celebrates its 75th birthday.
The first beer can was introduced by a brewing company from New Jersey back in 1935. It was a market test, which apparently proved successful, since American beer drinkers prefer cans over bottles, judging [...]

Read the full article →

College Republicans Irked by the Threat of Original Thought

January 21, 2010

It must be difficult for the GOP these days. On one hand, they want to continue to appeal to Bible-thumping, teabagging, gun-toting bigots, but on the other, they also want to extend their congregation beyond the high school drop-outs and the plantation owners. This level of re-branding is hard enough to do without the family [...]

Read the full article →

Things That Refuse To Die

January 19, 2010

1. Microsoft Internet Explorer 6
Despite being web standards non-compliant, and riddled with security holes, this sluggish mammoth of a browser continues to plague the online world, almost a decade after its first appearance. Many corporations continue to stick with MSIE6, as do certain less technologically focused countries, such as China and South Korea. Webmasters around [...]

Read the full article →

Posthumous Networking

January 18, 2010

I never cease to be amazed by the extent to which the Internet can answer questions we never even think to ask. For example, I can honestly say I never gave any thought to what would become of my email accounts or my Facebook page after I kicked the bucket. How, without my password, would [...]

Read the full article →