According to CNN, Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson’s personal physician on the night of his death, is being sought by law enforcement, as the prosecutors in Los Angeles are preparing to file criminal charges against him.
It’s not that the good doctor is missing, exactly. According to his lawyer, he is eager to cooperate, much like he was immediately after Jackson was pronounced dead after a drug overdose, and Dr. Murray could not be reached. Once again, he is eager to help the police, but there’s just one little snag: Dr. Murray’s lawyer and the authorities are yet to reach an agreement on his surrender.
Yes, that’s right. We’re not kicking in doors trying to locate a manslaughter suspect. We’re talking with his lawyer about the terms under which the suspect is willing to turn himself in, so that he can cooperate with law enforcement, as he is so eager to do.
Can we do anything these days without it involving billable hours for some lawyer? If the police think this guy is guilty of manslaughter, and the prosecutor is seeking to indict him, then can’t the cops just, you know, go and find him? I’m pretty sure they used to do that.
Perhaps there’s a buff, greasy-haired bounty hunter with a video camera that we can let loose on this guy’s trail.
Tagged as:
law enforcement,
lawyers,
Michael Jackson
February 4, 2010
in Humor
Immediately following the recent injury of freshly elected Republican Senator Scott Brown, there has been some speculation that the Massachusetts Senator might not be sworn in this afternoon after all. However, according to a source at the House GOP leadership, such rumors and speculations are not only premature, but entirely baseless.
“We don’t expect Senator Brown’s ceremony this afternoon to be delayed. He will be sworn in at around 5 pm, and will thereafter be able to vote on any bills that may come before the Senate,” reported an aide on the condition of anonymity.
Senator Brown was injured late Tuesday night when one of the strings that RNC Chairman Michael Steele uses to control Brown’s movements broke off. The immediate concern among his Republican constituents was that their new Senator might not be able to properly vote in the Senate in line with the party’s expectations. Our insider, however, maintains that this is not going to happen. Said the aide: “Senator Brown is eager to do as told by the party. He is looking forward to taking off his shirt and getting to work.”
In other news, at the time of this writing there is no official word on whether Brown’s daughter Ayla is still single.
Tagged as:
GOP,
humor,
politics,
satire