Dark

I have been suffering from writer’s block for several years now. Sure, I have written papers for college and some short stories for various classes, but nothing of my own accord. Nothing that would sufficiently satisfy my need to write.

Several months ago, I wrote what I considered the beginning of a novel. It was very dark. One character is killed off in the first paragraph. From thereon, it got worse. Don’t get me wrong – the prose itself, in my opinion, was good, even great at times. I was in top form. But the story itself was lacking. I have always been writing about people who are, shall we say, quite flawed. Complicated lives and dramatic events interest me. I don’t write about happy people; happiness, in literature, tends to be too boring and tiresome, at least for a writer. Well, at least for me.

But the problem with my story was not the fact that the characters had flaws and were generally unhappy. The problem was that their unhappy and miserable, completely self-absorbed personalities became overwhelmingly depressing to read about. I did not see this at first. My wife read my writing and was upset by it. She liked the prose, but detested the characters. I was very upset by this at the time, but when I read it all again later, I realized that it would be difficult for a reader to develop an interest in such unlikable characters. Good as the writing itself might be, if you do not care about or like any of the characters, the quality of the prose will become a moot point.

This has created a dilemma for me that I have tried hard to overcome. How do I keep my characters interesting and likable when the stories I want to write are dark and depressing? Part of my problem is perhaps the fact that I keep forgetting the old rule of creative writing: write for yourself, not for an audience. In other words, you have to like your own writing. You should write what’s inside you, not what you think people want to read.

I censor myself a lot when I write. I am not very confident in my ability to write good prose in English. I keep forgetting that each chapter is just a draft, and probably the best way to approach any project is to write it, complete it, and then shove it in a folder somewhere and wait a few months before going back to it and editing the shit out of it.

Another thing I have been thinking about lately is my sense of humour. I have a pretty dark and sarcastic sense of humour, and I think most people who “get me” find me pretty funny. If I could learn to let more of that part of myself go into the prose I write, perhaps the unlikable characters would be easier to live with.

Tagged as: Creativity, Writer's block, Writing