Blogger Patrick Phillips wrote about a 17-year-old girl in Mississippi wanting to wear a tuxedo in her yearbook photo. Apparently the school is adamant that this not happen, and the ACLU is sending out threatening letters to school officials.
Patrick felt that this whole thing is
. . . a silly dispute. The purpose of a yearbook photo is not for students to advertise their sexual orientation. It has nothing to do with dismissing her because she’s gay or embracing her because she’s gay.
It’s just a yearbook photo.
I went to school with a couple of jocks who played football and had all the ladies chasing after them. They’d have never been allowed to pose in a manner that depicts their sexual orientation: tuxedo shirt unbuttoned halfway down their chests showing off the few chest hairs they’d managed to grow with a pair of ladies’ panties in their teeth.
The guys don’t get to decide whether to wear a bowtie on their tux or have their tuxedo shirt open. The girls don’t get to decide which color drape to wear or whether to add a corsage.
The guys — gay or straight — wear the tux and the girls — gay or straight — wear the drape.
I disagree. I don’t think this is about advertising one’s sexual orientation. This is a school trying to project its own old-fashioned ideals of what is proper garment for a woman on a young student at the expense of her self-expression. She doesn’t even own any gowns, because she doesn’t wear them.
Traditions can be grown out of. The biggest obstacle is finding a way to accept that which is different. That which thinks differently or acts differently.Why do boys wear tuxes and girls gowns? Who decided this, and to what end? “That’s just how it’s been done” is insufficient.
This 17-year-old girl is of a generation that may be able to shed some of the nonsensical traditions and expectations our minds were wrapped around in. It’s up to her generation to define, or redefine, these ideals and traditions.
After all, yearbooks exist so that the kids themselves can look back and see themselves as they once were – not as the school officials once wanted them to appear. I should hope we have come as a society far enough to at least see that much.
Mika Salakka is a Finn living in the United States. He is a nursing assistant, a creative writer, a devoted husband, and an observer of the human condition. His interests range from music and literature to psychology, sociology, medicine, technology, and spirituality.
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Great points, Mika.
But if that mysterious “whoever” decided inappropriately that guys were tuxes and girls wear gowns, why does this student suddenly get to be the one who decides otherwise?
Is the purpose of the yearbook to really allow a student to express themselves or just to be shown to be part of the group? I’m honestly not sure about that. Maybe it depends on the school: I’ve seen some school portraits that seem a lot more provocative than anything we had when I was a senior. When I was in school, we had a specific set of backgrounds to choose from, so even when we could bring a change of outfits that we felt reflected our style, we were still somewhat limited with the backgrounds we had.
I’m not against equal rights by any stretch, it just seems to me that to focus this much effort on a senior portrait, when there are so many more important battles waiting to be won, is somewhat a matter of “choosing one’s battles.”