According to CNN, Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson’s personal physician on the night of his death, is being sought by law enforcement, as the prosecutors in Los Angeles are preparing to file criminal charges against him.

It’s not that the good doctor is missing, exactly. According to his lawyer, he is eager to cooperate, much like he was immediately after Jackson was pronounced dead after a drug overdose, and Dr. Murray could not be reached. Once again, he is eager to help the police, but there’s just one little snag: Dr. Murray’s lawyer and the authorities are yet to reach an agreement on his surrender.

Yes, that’s right. We’re not kicking in doors trying to locate a manslaughter suspect. We’re talking with his lawyer about the terms under which the suspect is willing to turn himself in, so that he can cooperate with law enforcement, as he is so eager to do.

Can we do anything these days without it involving billable hours for some lawyer? If the police think this guy is guilty of manslaughter, and the prosecutor is seeking to indict him, then can’t the cops just, you know, go and find him? I’m pretty sure they used to do that.

Perhaps there’s a buff, greasy-haired bounty hunter with a video camera that we can let loose on this guy’s trail.

If you enjoy a cold beer, today is supposedly the day to knock one back, as canned beer celebrates its 75th birthday.

The first beer can was introduced by a brewing company from New Jersey back in 1935. It was a market test, which apparently proved successful, since American beer drinkers prefer cans over bottles, judging by numbers sold.

And if you’re interested, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, adult Americans drink 22 gallons of beer per person each year.

Since I hardly ever drink beer, I hope someone else is enjoying my 22 gallons. In fact, judging by how people drive in this town, I know they are.

I received a letter in the mail from Anthony D. Romero, the Executive Director of the American Civil Liberties Union.

“I’m getting increasingly concerned,” Anthony wrote, “as weeks, and now months, have passed without hearing from you about renewing your ACLU membership.”

I understand your frustration, Anthony, but the fact is that you are wrong.

You have heard from me regarding my membership renewal: the answer was no, which I guess was not to your liking. You, or your minions, sent me a survey, which I diligently took. I explained in the notes section that I wasn’t going to make a donation this fall because it’s not in my budget. I know the POWs at Guantanamo Bay are having a rough time – it’s not easy being a terrorist, I get it – but the thing is, my family needs to spend money on food and gas right now.

It’s probably not cheap to send out these letters. This one went out to a 100,000 people, as mentioned in your letter. Wow. That’s a lot of stamps. No wonder you need help. I wish I could give it to you.

Maybe you missed my note, or ignored it.

Throughout the year, you sent me a lot of mail. You asked me to write to House Representatives – I did. You asked me to sign petitions – I did that too. I wanted to help. I still do.

I was proud of my membership. I still am.

But this holiday season, I’m not writing checks to lawyers. There are plenty of people right here in this little town that could use the money a lot more than you, and they don’t have the stamps to send out a 100,000 letters.

If this means I won’t be an ACLU member in 2010, I think I’ll survive.